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Relationships, The Wise

On My Level – Part 1 :: Delusions of Compatibility

It’s 2011.

African American women are undoubtedly a growing formidable power in the workforce.

In this day and age, women of color (namely African American women) are making substantial progress in the corporate/professional arena. With respect to their careers, they are ascending to and beyond various milestones of success and realizing many of their goals. They are undoubtedly a growing formidable power in the workforce.

With respect to education, and focusing primarily on the DMV (Washington DC, Maryland, Virgina) demographic, to encounter an African American woman who does not possess at least one advanced degree is a rarity; although, however, it is most likely that she is currently in school in pursuit of such a degree.

Regarding financial status, many women in this category are oft times well compensated. They may live in anything from condominiums to single-family detached homes that they alone afford. They drive late-model vehicles. Their wardrobes are oft times far from meager in variety and breadth. They also vacation in premier locations across the country as well as abroad.

Such women have either worked hard to obtain this level of earthly success, or have been wise and prudent enough to properly manage and capitalize upon what has been passed down to them by, perhaps, their parents. Regardless of the cause or source of there status, they’ve made it. Unfortunately, though, earthly success has not equated to relational/romantic success for many of these women.

Within the context of romantic relationships, there exists a growing sentiment within this female demographic that suggests a man must have obtained the same level of earthly success before he can be considered ‘eligible’. Amongst many of these women, it is a commonly held belief that a man is not ‘on their level’ if he does not either possess, or is not in pursuit of, the tangible distinctions of prosperity and education comparable to that of their own.

See ABC News Article: Single, Black, Female — and Plenty of Company

“There are a lot of women, though, who are trying to match up their education level, who are trying to match up their corporate status to find somebody on the same level…”

It would therefore be reasonable to assume that these women believe what makes one vocationally and/or materially successful would likewise produce relational success. After all, to establish comparable prestige as a prerequisite for ‘romantic eligibility’ not only implies that such “prestige”, in their mind, is a conclusive measure of the quality of a man, but is also the foundation of a romantic relationship that is holistically successful.

No romance if no finance…yes? Arguably so. However, this frame of logic seems to venture far beyond the valid notion that a man must have livable income, progressive employment and, perhaps, reliable transportation before he is considered ‘eligible’. To follow such logic would suggest, then, that the aforementioned parameters are insufficient; especially if the material credentials of the scrutinizing woman exceed them in any way. If that is the case…. Why?

Why is a man deemed ‘ineligible’ if he does not either match, exceed, or aspire to obtain the same tangible distinctions of prosperity and education as that of his female counterpart?

Why is comparable prestige a prerequisite to ‘romantic eligibility’?

Why is the relational validity of a man measured by his corporeal prosperity?

Why, then, is the substantive character of a man, outside of all tangible wealth and status, widely neglected by so many amongst this demographic of women?

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About The Motley Sage

...just the motley fool with a college degree, a few books read and a little life to share. *quietly rolling by on a unicycle wearing a harlequin spandex suit while reading 'The Art of War'*

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